This is NOT for the faint of heart/mind!

 

 

Coffee and thoughts.

 

Today is the 10th of October. 

 

Where do I even begin?! I am seriously dealing with a whirlwind of thoughts and opinions(shocker, I know). I know there will be some upset or disturbed by this blog today, but for those that are...I want you to question WHY you are. Not just because my opinions may be different from yours. That's how our Constitutional Republic works. So, with that warning in place, let's run with this.

 

I'm going to start with my own first hand knowledge. As a researcher, and someone who has learned to not take most things at face value, why is it so difficult for people to see the mess our country, as well as, the entire world are in? Is it cognitive dissonance? Is it ignorance? Is it that all the desensitizing that has happened for decades has people blind? Obviously, I have my own opinions. The difficult part for me, comes in within my own family. I have seen what fear of change, complete disconnect, and even severe cognitive dissonance looks like. I spend many days feeling like it would be more productive to talk to the walls! However, as I said, I am a researcher...and 4 plus years of research, much grief for personal gut feelings spanning close to 20 years, and I can tell you...buying into anything for me, is not going to happen. I read a quote this morning, and I'm going to change it a bit to fit me! "You were never hard to love, you were hard to manipulate." 

You see, I have had plenty of experiences in 47+ plus years to have a pretty good handle on misdirection/manipulation/misguided input from others. I've dealt with my own "blind faith," decisions and outcomes. I've dealt with lies, deceit,  guilt trips, and being told I was hard to love. I've been forced to "try" to blend in, fit in, or be with the "right" crowd. Seriously, I don't have the tolerance to "try" to be anything I'm not! I am NOT for everyone, and that's ok by me! I've loved and lost, I've trudged through muddy waters to get where I am. My experiences, both good and bad, have given me an inner strength that can't be grounded for long. Here's the thing, and I don't think many others think about this, but I could be wrong - women who reach a certain maturity, reach a different point of consciousnesses. They are less tolerant of bullshit, they are less concerned with fitting in, less concerned with large groups of friends, and at least for me, are less tolerant of disrespect. I've spent years hearing about "mid-life crisis." Sadly, I actually thought I understood what this meant, and actually thought it was just a guy thing. I actually grew up hearing this when my parents divorced. You know the stereo type - "cool car, girlfriend half their age, and no time for the family they had already created." Being closer to 50 now, I am seeing things a lot differently than I did as a teenager, in my 20's, in my 30's and even into my 40's. 

 

Let me elaborate a little more. I know the stereo type does happen. However, for men and women alike, I am seeing a trend. No one tells you how difficult the transition is from raising kids, to becoming "empty nesters." No one tells you how difficult it is when women go into menopause and the emotional/mental shift that takes place. No one tells you the real, ugly truths about your body changes that will happen as you age. No one talks about how severed communication and connections between spouses happen - let alone how to fix them. No one talks about the strain on marriages when you need to care for or help your parents - let alone having multiple sets of parents. No one talks about the vibes/energy effects from people. We hear constantly about body aches, illnesses, doctor appointments, and even have family that insists on knowing your medical history. I get this to some degree, but at the same time...my medical information is no one else's business. Period! Rarely will I ever talk about illness/aches/medical issues with anyone besides my direct family or inner circle of friends. Let me explain a little as to why. All these things are just symptoms of a bigger issue. Whether that be years of abuse - physical, medical, substance, etc. Getting older is not something everyone gets to experience. So, why do we spend so much time focusing on negative issues, instead of focusing on the fact that for today, we opened our eyes...so we should be incredibly grateful?! 

If you are not completely blind, you know that our health care system is fueled by money. You know if they actually CURE our symptoms, they will lose billions. That is common sense. If you are willing to look with an open mind, when these drugs they prescribe have a mile long list of side effects(including death), or you end up needing 3 other meds to fix a problem from the first med, there is a massive issue. This in my eyes is a giant string of medical malpractice. All this stuff about hereditary disease, sure it's possible. That too is common sense, but it not a blanket diagnostic for the prescription pad! Sadly, through several decades of questioning everything, I have found that when you start diving into the rabbit holes...you better start with following the money! All these organizations that claim to taking donations for "research" into diseases, you better go see how much every dollar, actually goes towards research and how much actually goes to "administrative." 

Ok, I had a squirrel moment. That was not the direction I intended to go today! As the insane censorship continues to grow in a supposed free country, I can't help but think, "when the lies no longer hold water, the censorship grows." So, what exactly, are we not supposed to have conversations about? We can't talk about Covid, we can't talk about election fraud, we can't talk about potato head or his administration, we can't question the motive in Ukraine, we can't question the 56 bio-labs in Ukraine, we can't question border security, we can't say recession/inflation, we can't talk about another housing crisis, we can't demand accountability for all the tax payer money being spent. We aren't supposed to question the media, which has been caught in lies. So, what CAN we talk about? Some stupid celeb that has been married and divorced a hundred times? Some celeb that can't seem to control their alcohol/drug abuse. The 96 year old queen, 96 people...she was old! We all die sometime! We are spoon fed crap about rifts with the royals, the pedo-king, world leaders that are being arrested/assassinated, lockdowns in China. We are being warned of nuclear Armageddon, by career politicians that are, in FACT, war mongers! It appears that all these life long politicians, on both sides, warned that Trump would cause a nuclear war....it's kinda strange how they were just broadcasting what their plans were. If you go back through History, and actually learned anything, every single war happened when our country was in a heap of debt! So where do we stand currently on the debt clock? $31.134 trillion and growing, literally by the second!! Our most debt ever. So, think about it: the Civil War, the Revolutionary war, WW1, WW2, and even 9/11. Do any of you even remember that on September 10, 2001, Donald Rumsfeld appearing on MSM telling America that there was $2.3 trillion missing from the Pentagon budget? That is a LOT of money to be "missing." Then, it just so happened the very next morning, our country experienced one of the most catastrophic tragedies on American soil in history. Then, miraculously, the "terrorists" that could barely fly cessnas flew hijacked commercial airliners(which they hijacked with box cutters), into towers that were made of steal. Not to mention that the steal supports that held those towers up, were in the interiors of those buildings. Also, the fact that a bird can take down a commercial plane...yet, they took down the towers, Tower 7 of the WTC fell all on its own, there was no fuselages found in PA or at the Pentagon. A supposed passport for one of the "terrorists" was supposedly found. It just seems a bit ironic that when OUR money, that we the tax payers are forced to pay, is being spent faster than our government can take it; suddenly we are going to war. Then it's OUR loved ones that sent in to fight and many times die for our country, yet our country ends up forgetting about the very soldiers and veterans that have come home injured. Is anyone else seeing this pattern?

So, we have seen New York AND New Jersey, issue press releases about how to prepare and survive a nuclear attack. Seriously? So, if this is such an expected event, why isn't every state putting forward their own directives? Have these crooked, good for nothing, piles of steaming manure, made plans to attack NY and NJ? Just exactly WHO is going to start this nuclear war? You've got the President in Ukraine screaming at NATO to do preemptive strikes on Russia. You've our own Resident potatohead, running away from reporters attempting to get info on nuclear strikes. You've got the crazy, drunken witch of Congress stirring the shit pot while alienating 3/4 of American citizens - just to better her own portfolio and/or that of her kid. You've the RINO's talking a big game, but it appears there isn't a single backbone within the entire 2 chambers of elected officials - FROM EITHER PARTY! 

With all this being said, what are you doing? Have you been so desensitized that you are just going about your days not thinking beyond the moment? OR, are planning? What are you preparing? Have you thought of an emergency plan for if the power goes out, cell phones don't work, etc.? Yes, I know there are going to be people that believe even thinking about preparing is crazy. I've heard it first hand. Here's my thought on all of this: Here in Missouri, we are coming up on our Winter season. For my little farm, this means it could be cold, it could snow, we could have ice, or we could be out playing bags in sweatshirts on Christmas day. While most farmers follow the almanac predictions, we also know they along with the weather folks...usually are not right. So, we prepare for the worst and pray for the best. That being said, we can usually count on our first snowfall around Halloween and typically from November to April, we are going to have snow & ice, or mud. Any or all of which make life on a farm pretty difficult. So, we prepare. We try to keep enough food and supplies on hand, for the animals and the people, for no less than 4-6 months. This is a pretty costly supply, on a good year; and truly atrocious this year! Many items, we won't know if they work or need replaced until we have to use them. Normally, this isn't an issue, we just run to the farm store. This year, we are already finding serious gaps in supplies, serious price increases and the quality of everything is sub-par. A great example...we purchased a re-manufactured fridge about 6 months ago. It was guaranteed to work for 30 days. It was about a quarter the cost of buying new. Well, over the past month, we couldn't figure out why food was going to hell so quickly. The compressor has decided to only in spurts. We bought an add-on part that should help...it didn't. So, it now appears we have to go searching for another fridge. Y'all, a fridge is truly a need...not a want. It is also very well known that appliances are now made to be disposable within 7 years. So, a $2000 fridge, is pretty well going to be junk in that time frame. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't have 2 grand to throw around. Needless to say, it's also tax and property tax season here in Missouri. After receiving the notice earlier in the year, that our taxes would increase, it is unknown how much those are going up. Not to mention, Christmas is just a few weeks away, and the price of EVERYTHING has increased so much. It's reached a breaking point, at least for me. I am so tired of the kool-aid drinkers claiming that everything is so much better, when anyone with half a brain knows otherwise. 

So, I am seriously on a tangent! I am so tired of watching people behave in a matter that everything is normal, and things are better. THEY ARE NOT!! Food prices in most cases, have doubled. Fuel/Diesel prices are stupid high. Utility costs are on the rise. Anything grain related is higher. Supply chain issues are so much bigger than being discussed. The MSM is spoon feeding everyone so much crap, they are either being paid to be this incredibly stupid or truly are. We have MASSIVE corruption in our elected positions, from local to state, clear to the federal government. We have an insane amount of disconnect between politicians and the American people. Our Constitution is being used to wipe the asses of these corrupt idiots. Our country has been in a recession for almost a year, and are bordering on a depression. Our stock market has has the worst losing streak this year, since the 70's. Our housing markets are tanking just as they did in 2006/2007, right before the crash of 2008. Our inflation is the highest it's been in more than 40 years. Our wages are pushing a 30% decline in spending power over the past year and half. We are being censored at the highest levels in American history. Laws are being broken - HIPPA does not alllow public access to personal medical records, yet people are willingly sharing all the health information publicly and through social media. Jobs are not illegally requiring experimental vaccines, or you get fired...or you are required to prove medically you don't have a made up illness in order to go back to work. People you better open your eyes, and starting using your head for more than a hat rack!

We have experienced a color revolution right here in the states. We are seeing the biggest, most extensive military operation - IN MY OPINION, ever! When you start digging for information, when you have researched thousands of hours, when you watch and learn flight radars and what/who can authorize FEDERALIZING the National Guard, when you learn military law - and that military law TRUMPS every other law, you will not only see the writing on the wall...you will know how imperative it is to make sure you are prepared to the teeth for anything that may come up. 

I don't care if you have a spouse, children, or other relatives that believe you are crazy or a "conspiracy theorists," you do what you believe to be the right thing. You may have to seek out other like minded people to help get through the negative energy you are getting from those people, but DO NOT GIVE UP! Keep preparing!! Pray!!! Prepare as best as you can!! Stay peaceful but don't put up crap!! Research and learn military law!! Before you open your mouth, make sure you know facts!

Coffee Chat and Farm News

 

As usual, my coffee chats always entail "more."  This one is no different. September was such a trying month for me, and October has begun, only to bring me to a point of exhaustion again. There is always so much to do on a homestead, as a parent, and in life as a general overview.

Last month, my mother-in-law passed away. This is a lady that has been a pretty strong influence in my life for 24 years. Getting through the shock of a sudden passing, all the plan/prepare work that was not done, and the services themselves was emotionally trying. Especially since I don't deal with them well to start with. That progressed to the guilt of not being able to celebrate my boys 22nd birthday due to the services being held on their actual birthday. Then came the final 2 weeks of the month that had me teaching my girl and running/preparing the final plans for our annual veteran hunt. The month ended with that veteran, and even with some hiccups...it was truly an incredible end to such heart breaking month. October has begun with a flurry of projects that have to be finished before it gets cold and/or starts snowing. Living a "simple" life, by NO means, means living an easy life. It's a hell of a lot of work that results in 24 hours some days, but typically is no less than 14 hour days. 

Let's get started with our annual veteran hunt. This is the 4th year we have hosted/welcomed veterans to our farm for this event. Even with the chaos of September, and the 3 am tornado - just 2 days before the event...I believe this was the best one yet! We had 5 awesome veterans that made this event so much fun. They enjoyed the conversations, fishing and hunting, as well as, the bonfires. Most nights it was midnight to 2 am, before everyone turned in for the night. They decided to fish in the mornings and hunt in the afternoons, which meant I did not have to be up at 3 am, fixing breakfast. That was truly an amazing blessing! Everyone was back at the farm for lunch, then went hunting until dark. Then everyone came back in for the evening meal, bonfires, and the Friday night DJ is always a great addition. We had several donations this year that made the event amazing, and allowed for next year's event and canopy sides. A crocheted afghan was donated and raffled to the veterans. Our oldest veteran won that. One of our planning committee members brought in gift bags for each veteran, and another member brought each veteran and volunteer a loaf of homemade bread. Our partner group, who has been incredible for all 4 years, had t-shirts made to give to each veteran and volunteer. Our farm is putting together photo albums for each veteran and hunter as well...this just takes a little more time since everything has to be ordered. We are excited to have received use of more land, donated for use by the landowners, for next year already. We are also excited and humbled to have a decent list of veterans that want to come back or attend for the 1st time; already compiling. It will be having to come down to a luck of the draw, and keeping the number of attendees at a manageable level for the volunteers we have to work with. It's a remarkable position to be in. When you can see and feel the gratitude and humbleness of the veterans that attend, and you have the chance to hear their stories - aside from being a parent, there is truly nothing more rewarding and humbling for me. 

On to farm news. What a crazy year we have had! What started as a wet year, turned dry rather quickly. Once it started drying out, it turned to drought very quickly. We didn't have excessive heat, even though we had a few weeks, during the summer, that were hot...it was not a normal summer. The hay was baled on time, but then it dried up and we weren't able to get more than a single cutting. That has left us short on hay for the winter. The garden went into a kind of hibernation/stalled production. I was able to get several things canned, but had a heck of time getting things to grow, several seeds didn't germinate, and then September rolled around and all hell broke loose. From September 4th to about the 14th, we had about 6" of rain...much needed. Then a week later, we had the wild experience of a late season EF1 tornado just 2 days before our veteran hunt. We were fortunate to avoid any major damage...just having to do a lot of clean up and reset the giant canopy that had the poles drove a foot to three foot into the ground. So, now that we are in the start of October, we have all the usual September/October preparations to finish, in half the time. The 1st, I started trimming trees around the house. Many of them I hadn't gotten pruned for a couple years, as time ran out and they weren't a huge priority. This year, they had to be done. The trees within the yard fence had grown so much, they were either pushing on the fence or growing through it, and the willows had grown kinda messy with side branches causing it to be really difficult to mow and trim around. The trees outside the fence, needed cleaned up and trimmed in hopes of helping them keep growing too. I just have the orchard trees left, but my arms/hands/back, needed a break. I believe my mowing on Sunday will be the last one for this year. This is always sad for me, I love to mow and enjoy the sun and quiet time it provides. We have started our first year of fall lambing. This really is a trial by fire, to see how they do. So far, we've had one little lamb born with the expectation of many more in the coming weeks. This is also the first year ever, we have had the run in with pink eye in our cows. After some pretty hefty vet expenses, we are hoping to be about done with this experience. With the drought this year, we are having to purchase hay for the first time in about 10 years. Of course, this is the year that everyone else is too. So, you all know how supply & demand work. We also found last year, that it saved some money to purchase logs to burn in our furnace, as opposed to having to find trees to cut, drive around the countryside, and drag the equipment everywhere. So, last year we bought a load of logs that the boys were able to have here, and cut up when needed. Trying to get logs this year had been a challenge, until today. We finally found a load, they will be here tomorrow, and for a bit less than last year. That is a win in my book. During my walk last night, I found a good amount of produce that had grown in my garden since the last time I'd taken time to walk through it. So, today my daughter and I will be working up bell peppers, banana peppers, and jalapeno peppers. I'm hopeful to get them all finished today. I still need to finish working up potatoes, and I found more tomatoes last night too. This weekend, I am pulling plants, putting away cages/panels, for winter. This is always a sad time of the year for me, when it comes to my garden. I have been reminded twice about how much I let go, but being only one person and trying to get through everything I do on a daily basis...I have to just be ok with it. What used to be a family affair of working up all the produce, has become a "me" job. That's ok but I can only do so much...no matter how much I try, there's only 24 hours in a day and as I have gotten older and had a couple of medical issues...it's slowed me down some, as much as I hate to admit it. 

With our annual winter prep, I have followed several stories over the past nearly 4 years. Watching the C-19 mess, the supply chain woes, the inflation and so many recessionary issues pop up...I am preparing a little more than normal this year. It is typical on our farm, to prepare and plan, for winter, for about 6 months. Typically, that means 6 months(November - May), of needed items on hand. This is nothing new for us. Having lived in a rural environment for most of 23 years, this has been at the forefront. We haven't always had livestock to worry about, but the past 11 years we have. This planning includes: water tank warmers, feed, grain, mineral, hay, vet supplies for each breed of animal, straw for bedding, wood for the furnace(or propane when we had propane heat), making sure we have heat lights and that they work, closing in part of the barn for the cold months, putting plastic on the deck and under the deck to block some of the cold coming in the front door, getting the a/c's put up for winter, getting windows cleaned up, checking all the heat vents/inside blower, making sure the small propane bottles are full in case(or if we just want to) cook on the grill/griddle/smoker, putting away bird feeders, making sure to have a minimum of 4 months of food/water/medical supplies/pet foods/necessities on hand(working on 6 months this year), making sure there is extra fuel & diesel on hand for tractors/log splitter, and cleaning up anything in the yard that can be put away to preserve for future use. The list looks pretty small until you really dig into each area or find areas that need fixed/replaced. None of that includes the fall cleaning inside, putting away all the canning supplies for the year, and putting away anything that was used for the spring/summer months that does not need to be out for the rest of the year. 

It's incredible when you dive into the preparation mode. There are things you don't think about, take for granted. Just think about the great toilet paper shortage of 2020. Imagine that mess but in the way of not only toilet paper, but food, bottled water, Tylenol, or even feminine products. Imagine that mess at Thanksgiving or Christmas. I don't like surprises, at least not those kind of surprises! Something that I think few think about when it comes to preparations, is clothing. Around here, having insulated bibs, heavy coats, insulated boots, hats, gloves, scarves, and long underwear are necessities. When you are out everyday, despite the weather, you have to be prepared for staying warm. Animal care is year round, no matter what the weather is....110 in the shade or 50 below with winds howling. The colder the days in the winter, the more often you have to make sure water tanks are not froze over. Sadly, even with tank heaters, sometimes they still freeze. So, having warm clothing, extra gloves are needed. Not to mention, we usually have a round of lambs born in January/February. That adds another aspect of being prepared. We have kept fleece blankets to put on new lambs when the temps are just to cold. This year, preparation has taken on new meaning and new life. I began Christmas shopping in June. I know, that is really early...even for me! However, with the price increases, the supply chain issues...I didn't want to be caught without gifts under the tree for my kids. We have never done big gifts or technological gifts for Christmas. We have always tried to stick with a couple of wants, a few needs and something educational. We have an annual tradition of opening a gift on Christmas Eve, which is usually new PJ's, some hot cocoa mix, their favorite candy and sometimes includes a movie. I have just about finished shopping and hope to complete that task in the next couple of weeks. Typically, the prices increase in November, so they can "lower" them in time for Black Friday shopping. This year, the prices have been on the rise all year. I can tell you, one item I have purchased was $14.99 last year. This year, the exact same item was now $22.99. That may not seem like a lot to some, but if you figure that in over about 10 gifts...the knocks $80 off a budget in a hurry. When you stick to a pretty strict budget, that difference is pretty big. 

Most years, aside from the 2 we were in Southern Missouri, we have an annual Christmas Open House. I spend a week baking, making candies, fudge, homemade breads, cookies, cakes, and soups. We open our home to neighbors, family and friends for an evening of fellowship and friendship to celebrate the season. To me, this is the best gift ever! Everyone gets together to share the season, spend quality time, and there's not a gift included...just sharing life. I worried for a bit, that I might not be able to do this, this year, for many reasons. However, I have decided that I am going to make it happen, one way or another. That seems to make Christmas, even better for me. You see, this open house, isn't about who can spend more money or buy the biggest gifts...it's about spending time and making memories that last a lifetime. It's about the friendships, the kinship, and keeping a forgotten tradition alive. It's not about the materialistic means that Christmas has become. Even though a lot of work goes into the planning, baking, cooking and preparations...it is worth more than gold to me!!

I have a massive list to knock out in the next 27 days, but I'm having to remind myself that I can only squeeze so much into a single day. So, with that being said, I will be diligently working on the list, teaching my daughter and dealing with all the changes that entails, attempting to keep up with laundry, dishes, typical fall cleaning, meals, grocery shopping, paying bills, taking time out to enjoy a bonfire or two, and taking care of myself along the way. I've gotten the reminder loud & clear, about how short life can be, and how quickly that can change. Even on days that I wake up tired and grouchy, I'm grateful for another day. Sometimes, it's easy to take for granted the time and people in our lives; until they are no longer there. Whether that be due to passing or separation, it may just be human spirit or ego, but we need to remember that items are meant to be used, not people. 

Our house is looking to be pretty quiet this winter. My future daughter-in-law, won't be here this winter, and my adopted son has bought a home and moved out as well. It's pretty strange with just 4 of us here again. I am used to my house bursting at the seams with people and it's a big adjustment. I will be making use of having some extra space...won't be a bedroom anymore. It's being turned into my daughter's sewing/art room and my husband's gun/hunting room. Maybe, just maybe, as I get through my list, I will find some organization again. That's the plan anyway! I will close out this month, and if all goes as planned, November 1st will bring out the Christmas decor. I want to enjoy the beauty of Christmas as long as possible! The uptick of baking and winter type meals is already nipping at my heals. 

I will this today with a few thoughts. Take time every morning, to count your blessings, say a prayer and appreciate those love. Don't assume anything. Don't take people for granted - cherish those that you love. We are all human, and have days that just suck! Don't let those bad days overshadow your blessings.