My goals and my individual path

Since my last few weeks have been spent with illness of some sort, it's time to put my goals and plans into action. Setting goals has always been my way. I got away from actually setting goals a few years back. I had thought I could just think about my goals, and that was enough. It's not for me! I have to write out general goals, put a date or time frame on them, and then work towards them. While we can all dream of what we want, I have to have a visual reminder. So, I am writing mine here in my blog, I have them typed and hand written. I will print as many copies as I need to be reminded, and to achieve the goals I have set for myself!

My general goals for 2015:
-Finish my medical transcription editing schooling - By March
-Take daily time just for me!
-Start building furniture - not just for our house but also to sell
-Learn my new camera, and start taking photos again
-Plan get together times for family and friends-stop being too busy to enjoy life
-Make 3 trips to my hometown this year instead of 1
-Take time to take my kids to the zoo, and our local state parks
-Learn to be OK with taking time for myself
-Stop letting anyone deter me from my goals
-Don't let responsibilities take on a life of their own
-Take time to have fun!
-Start exercising and dancing again
-Quit smoking for good!
-Spend a lot of time in my gardens
-Start working on my landscaping projects
-Don't settle for things you don't want
-Take over finances instead of letting them take over me
-Take time to blog, read, and write
-Make time for all the people that are important to me, not just my immediate family
-If I don't like the path I am on, don't be afraid to change directions!
-Finish our interior remodeling

Since these are my general goals, I will have to find a path that will allow me to achieve them. However, I am not afraid to fail, knowing that I have just found a way that didn't work. I have more detailed plans, but I will not post them online. I also know that by sharing my goals, it's another way to hold myself accountable.

I read a quote the other day, "You get lost in life when are always doing things in urgency. Find a moment of stillness, give your heart a chance to tell you where you really need to be." This was a quote from Dobinsky, in the garden of happiness. I love this! It's so true. We live in a world that is in constant crisis mode. It causes us to spend too much time reacting, instead of taking action that will empower us.

As a child, I can remember many nights that our house was the center of get togethers. There would be many different families, and everyone came to play cards, or visit. Now, trying to get time to spend with friends, seems to be fleeting. I want to change that for us. I want to have our bonfires, and b-b-q's. I want to enjoy actually visiting instead of the constant texting, cell phones and computers. I want REAL social interaction!

I don't care what material possessions people have, I don't care how much money they have, nor do I give a hoot about what kind or how much your vehicle cost. I don't even care if anyone agrees with our life style or our thoughts. I do care about rekindling real friendships, being respectful, being honest, and being real. Don't bad mouth me behind my back and be nice to my face. Don't pretend to know me or be a friend, if you are just a fair weather friend. I don't have the time, energy or desire to deal with that! I guess the best way to put this: "Love me or hate me, either way is fine by me. When I start treating you the way you treat me, just remember that turn about is fair play!"

I have loved the life we have led, since we bought our home. The last 2 years though, I have listened to many people criticize, and degrade because of it. I haven't ever really cared what others thought of how/what I did, but 2 years is a lot of negativity to hear. I am going back to the person that I was, the person I liked, and the life that I loved! I am done caring what others would love to drill into my head as "normal." I love my hippie/gypsy, lifestyle. I love knowing that I can heal anything with natural medicine, that the biggest part of what we eat is raised or grown right here on our land, that my kids are getting a good education in real life right here at our home, that our family time is building strong bonds with our kids, and that for every person that tells me the kids need "socialization," there are 5 telling me, how great my kids are - well-mannered, smart, and easy to talk to.

For every tear I have cried over negative remarks, fake people, and false friendships...there will be millions cried for the happiness our family has. The bond our family has built will NEVER be torn apart by outside sources. Even through all the negatives, the strength of our little family, has grown stronger! While there will always be ups and downs, my relationship is also the best friendship imaginable. My kids, BOTH of them, still hug me every night and tell me they love me. My 14 year old, still talks to me about everything, and isn't afraid to disagree with me. My 5 year old, has a spirit so great, it's uncontainable. I'm not saying my kids are perfect, actually they are far from it, BUT they are perfectly unique and perfectly them.

Never in my life, have I been so certain of where I want my life to go. The funniest part, is that my life path isn't even close to what it was 20 years ago. Reading has always been a bit of a crutch for me. I will read for days to find an answer, to learn something new, or to research thoughts I have had. During some of my reading, I have articles that help for me to understand so much. For example: "Marriage isn't 50/50." Marriage is actually both people giving 100%, 100% of the time. When that falters, marriages fail. "Love isn't enough." Love is just that, it's a verb. Meaning you actually have to do something about it. You can love someone, but if you are not showing it, it becomes inactive. "Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one." This made me laugh! It couldn't be more true! Just because we all have opinions, does not mean every one of us is right or wrong. It just means we have different thoughts.

Reading sometimes takes you to new ideas and sometimes, it can have your scratching your head! Parenting books just leave me scratching my head. I can tell you NO TWO KIDS ARE ALIKE! I don't care if they are from the same parents, or not! From my own experience, what works for one child is completely wrong for another! What works with my children, probably won't work for yours. It's just the nature of the beast, I suppose. The key for me has been to learn my children. Find their strengths, their weaknesses, their learning styles, and their personalities. I can talk to a thousand people with kids, and every one of them will tell you something different that works with their kids. While we are strict on some aspects with our kids, we are pretty lenient on others. While we push our kids to always do their best, we do not degrade them when they fail. We don't believe in spanking our kids, and we've never had to, but our kids still respect us.

2015 is my year to remember WHO I am. It's my year to be OK with not being perfect. It's my year to say "piss off," to anyone wanting to drag negativity into my life. It's my year to be grateful and happy with who I am. I have a lot of re-educating myself of the uniqueness that makes me special. Even if there are those out there that are saying, "yeah, you're special alright!," want to be negative, so be it! Each and every one of us is special, unique and perfectly who we are supposed to be, WHEN we eliminate the negativity from ourselves, and those around us.

2015 IS MY YEAR! So, anyone wishing to be negative, tell me how much I am doing wrong in your opinion, or that wants to degrade/negate my life - Not only do you need to worry more about your life than mine, but I'm saying right now - "piss off!" When you are paying my bills, raising my kids, taking care of my responsibilities...then your opinion will matter. Until then, I suggest you spend more time worrying about your life, your kids, your responsibilities and quit throwing stones when you live in a glass house!



A toast to 2015, may your year bring you fulfillment, happiness, and your own individual creativeness!

~Salli~

New Year, time to begin again

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!



It's now 2015, the year of the sheep. Kind of ironic, if you ask me! So many lives are led by just following what everyone else is doing. This is the basic mentality of a sheep, follow the herd. So many people, don't allow their true hearts to show, when it goes against what everyone else is doing. Too many intelligent, and creative people, push aside their dreams for what is socially acceptable by the group they have chosen to be among. It's sad.

As we are beginning a brand new year today, it gave me pause to look at the craziness that goes on in the world around us. This beautiful country of ours is so broken, and divided. My biggest question, is always WHY?! We have become a nation of greed, debt, and category. While I am not a religious person, I am very spiritual. Why and how, have we become so determined to categorize every person or situation, why are we so judgmental, why is it so necessary to compare our lives to anyone else? We have religions that have become so hypocritical, judgmental and far too powerful. We have individuals judging, in debt, and still with a very closed-mind. I myself, have been caught in that game. Each and every one of us, has some struggle or battle we are trying to get through. Every single one of us, have enough skeletons in our closets that we really shouldn't open the door. Each of us, have done or said or behaved a way, at some point, that we hope we can be forgiven for. Each of us, have a life to live and a mission to complete. Exactly where and when, if we are working on our own life, is there time or energy to judge someone else?! There should not be!

We can not fix everything about everyone else, that we do not approve of. We can only fix the parts of ourselves, that need fixing. The constant battle of who has more, who attends a meeting in a building to profess their undying affection, who is wearing name brand clothes versus a cheaper brand, who drives a brand new vehicle, whose skin is what color, who is having a relationship with whom...unless it affects us personally, WHO CARES! Honestly, the phrase: "those who live in glass houses should not throw stones!" is perfect!!!

The past year, I have seen so many judge others, and have listened while others have ripped apart lives they know nothing about. I have heard some lies that would make you really question other people's values. I have seen people, the show they put on in public versus the way they are behind closed doors. I have seen relationships being torn apart, by lies, by media and religious interference. I have seen and been on the receiving end of vicious words for my own beliefs and values. However, with all the negative, judgmental crap; I have seen so much good as well.

I have seen people "paying-it-forward," I have heard of the secret Santa's paying for families gifts in layaways, We actually had a gentleman buy us a meal when we were out and just asked us to do the same for someone else. I have read about parents showing their kids what it means to give, unconditionally! Whether it's buying a bag of pet food for a local animal shelter, donating food to a local food pantry, spending some of their own money to purchase gifts for an angel tree, or just talking to an individual who is all alone...these are the values our world needs to see more of. These small gestures of kindness, are what everyone needs to strive for in our new year.

Each of us, to some degree, has become too self-centered. We are too focused on looking out for ourselves, and when someone has more than we do, we become jealous and negative. Why do we feel this way?! I know I have felt this way, to some degree. Why must we be so greedy, when we should be thankful when someone does well. We should know, in our hearts, that if we work hard enough and have ample education, that we can get where we wish to be, as well. I have seen, a lot in the past year, how entitled so many have become. So many think they deserve so much more than they do. I have seen so many who work their tails off, become so withdrawn because of lack of recognition or motivation. While I am not a big fan of constantly recognizing every little thing, even I enjoy some recognition for everything I do. I know that people, like my husband, are never really off work. Even when they aren't "punched in," at their job. In our household, his cell phone is widely known and we get phone calls at all hours of the day, night, weekends and holidays. Not to mention, the people that just show up at our house for tools, or to have some emergency fixed. That isn't ever taken into consideration though. Then you have those that do "clock in" they may or may not be on time, they work their hours, and they are done.

Since I do not work outside of home, there is generalizations that I don't work. Let me tell you, if I don't work, I sure do an awful lot! Having a job means being responsible for getting stuff done, and taking on whatever roll is required to accomplish that. For me, that roll tends to have multiple facets each day. Whether that roll is wife, mom, teacher, nurse, secretary, accountant, chef, launderer, housekeeper, babysitter, psychologist, friend, daughter, sister, confidant, referee, or any number of other rolls. This is my day. I do have some down time when I tend to my own schooling, read just because, or just take time to enjoy my kids. While my down time has been especially limited this past year, I am working towards fixing that. However, for anyone that believes that a stay-at-home-mom, doesn't work, you are sorely mistaken.

As we begin a brand new year, I hope to be able to see more light through all the darkness. I hope that our country can begin an uphill recognition that we are all the same, not to be categorized by race, religion, gender, or sexual preference. I hope our citizens will be more kind, caring, and less competitive. I hope each of us begins to take more interest in our personal lives and less interest in judging others without knowing their struggles. Maybe we can all be a little less worried about what others have or have not, and a little more concerned what goes on within our own homes. Maybe we can all quit throwing stones to what we do not understand, or are uneducated about.

Maybe we can all spend a little more time improving ourselves, and a lot less time tearing others apart for the choices they make. Each of us are unique individuals, on different paths to fulfillment. Maybe we should spend a little money buying things that are nothing more than a band-aid for some unhappiness in our lives, and spend more time being grateful for what and who we already have. Dreams, goals and desires are where we want to go, but when we are so busy judging others, there is no time to focus on our individual paths.

May each of you find fulfillment, peace, happiness, good health, and the path to your own goals in the coming year. May each of you find the kindness in your heart, to help those that are truly less fortunate than yourself, and may each of you find true happiness without all the band-aids we think we need.

I don't make resolutions, since there really isn't much motivation to follow through with them. I do however, set goals. I have my new goals written, while not really legible at the moment, they will soon be typed and hung where I can see them everyday. I have given up the idea that perfection is achievable. I am unique, and very happy with that. I don't require much for material stuff, but I do require respect, knowledge, love, gratitude, appreciation, and self-respect. I don't appreciate being taken for granted, or used. I will speak my beliefs, values, and opinion; even when I know it's going to upset someone. I am not perfect, and will never be. Every mistake I make, just means that I have found a way that doesn't work, but it also means that I am trying. While we have lived by this thought for many years, this thought is what will guide us for many more: "Family knows no boundaries!"

As I end this post, and look forward to some in-depth writing this year, I know my own goals are set. I know my own path is going to be followed, no matter how many negatives or judgments are made. I know which direction I want my life to go, and if I get off track; I will change paths and start again. As much of a reminder to each of you, this is a reminder also to myself: "There is absolutely NOTHING you can not accomplish, if you set your mind to it, and work towards it!"

Peace,
Salli