This crazy thing called life!

Every day there are different things to learn, memories to treasure and areas that you can reflect on to grow.  ~S~

 In my life, this couldn't be more true.  I have such an interesting vantage point.  I am home with my kids every single day, and I am not only Mom to them, but also teacher, mentor, friend, guidance counselor, and spiritual guide.  I have had the privilege of learning how my kids learn, their perspectives, and helping them learn to think for themselves...not just being taught what to think.  Although there are days I would love some different types of disciplines...we teach our kids to think for themselves,  ask questions, and question everything.  Not to be blindly lead just by what they read and hear.  It's amazing what kind, and how many questions a little persons mind can imagine.  The things we, as adults, think are so finely cut.  A little person doesn't have the reserve.  They naturally think outside the box, and look for the most innovative way to do things.  Even though we mold our children into what they are expected be, if left to develop in their natural way, these amazing little people can honestly become whomever they choose!

This brings me to, well, ME!  :)  Today my husband and I celebrate 13 years of marriage.  To say we've had a roller coaster relationship, is a pretty accurate description.  Our backgrounds, and geographical difference really caused havoc early on.  In 2000, we had our oldest.  After being told for years I would never have children, this was a huge celebration.  In 2001, they found the cervical cancer that was removed and still gone today.  Life was really rocky in those early days.  Lots of arguments, disagreements and being a first time Mom...lots of unsure footings.  By 2003, we were having a lot of different issues-disagreements on raising our oldest, money, different dreams, and so much more.  We actually divorced.  After 4 months, we got remarried and have been together since.  That's not to say things got better for a while.  It took us until just the last 6 years to finally get better at communicating, which in turn lead to realizing that many of our dreams and goals are the same.  Our life plan/goals, are running pretty close to parallel now.  That's not to say that our marriage is perfect!  We still have plenty of disagreements, we still annoy the crap out of each other, there's still days we look at each other and wonder how the heck we ever ended up together.  That being said, we are also now the best of friends.  We talk about everything, even if we disagree.  We make plans together, we have dreams that aren't that different from the other, and we have goals together.

Although we still have several very trying times, we do work well together.  Because we are so different from each other, it allows each of us to see a different perspective....even if we still don't agree.  We still have days that it's easier to not talk to each other, there's still days that no matter what we do-we annoy each other.  But there are many more days when I look forward to him getting home so we can have one of our deep conversations about life, kids, love, family, our goals and anything else that may come up.

I know that choosing this life has changed me.  Some days I really feel like it has made me a better person.  Other days, I'm just annoyed that I'm not the head-strong, independent person that I once was.  It's a constant ping-pong for me, as to who I am, who I was, and who I want to be.  Most days, I am happy with who I have become, although I wish I still had some of that stiff backbone I once had.  You just never know what kind of curve balls life will through at you.  As my favorite poem states...

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
~Robert Frost

~~Sal~~