New Year - Goals without reflection is like going skiing without skis.

The start of a new year always give me a pause to reflect on the prior year. Whether there were an abundance of bad times, or good. A time to reflect on goals, finances, relationships, or whatever has happened in our lives.

This for me, has become an annual tradition. Not just of brief reflection, but continuing to reflect throughout the year. For about 2 years I have been redefining where I want to go with life. I am constantly looking at relationships around me, finances, my personal goals, the person I have become, the person I want to be, and what I want out of life itself. For me, reflecting allows me to face past hurts, relationships that didn't bloom or ones that have died off. It allows me to look realistically at everything.

So, for this post, I will tell you a little about how I reflect, how I set goals and a few tips I have learned from facing the past that isn't always a pretty memory!

As I said, this journey began about 2 years ago. It was actually started about 7 years ago, but I didn't really realize it until 2 years ago. I was faced with a situation that caused me to not only open my eyes but also to be old enough to face the facts and deal with them. It was 7 years ago that my reality began to change, my personality was challenged, my whole life - or life as I thought I understood it, changed. Since then, there have been little and big issues that have caused me to reexamine my life, my morals, my standards, and my values. I can't help but be grateful to so many experiences in my life that have allowed me to know what I want, need, and also the things I don't!

I love my gardens and nature. My first thought is that to truly reflect, you must find a space that you can relax, breath, and think clearly. As I said, for me that space is in my gardens, walking in nature, riding my horses, or hiking. You must be able to think without interruption and without the input of those that are creating your stress.

Once you have found a place that allows you relaxation, then you need to examine you. I mean really examine...EVERYTHING. Even though many of us have pasts that we'd like to forget parts of, you have to be willing to face those past actions and be totally honest about them. Every single thing you have been through or are going through has shaped who you are, and is still shaping you today. Every single issue is an opportunity for you to grow, and learn from. You just have to be willing to accept whatever the issue, reflect on the lesson at hand, and then be willing to face it - however you need to face it. You have to be honest with yourself through every issue, both past and present. Face them, learn from them, and grow from them.

Now, you need to be willing to make a physical list of good and bad points of your life, both past and present. Make lists of who you want to be, where you want to go, and what you want from life. Of course, this task isn't always easy. I personally keep a journal that is off limits to everyone but me. This way I can be completely honest, without fear of interference from outside sources. Having a journal is one of the best way to reflect, be honest, and be able to reread your thoughts to see a pattern of thoughts too. Writing or typing thoughts, is really a release for your thoughts, and also a stress release when in trying times.

As you move further into your reflections, you will find it easier to put your thoughts in order. You will find that the more you reflect the easier it becomes to be completely honest with yourself too. In the beginning, it's hard to be honest with yourself, and truly be willing to admit to faults, and indescreations that you have dealt with. Being honest with yourself is one of the truly priceless gifts you can give yourself.

I try to recommend keeping a journal at all times, as writing your thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc. is a great way to determine who you are as a person. My thought is: if you are constantly trying to be someone that someone else wants you to be, you will never be happy. You have to know how to be yourself, and be happy with yourself before you will ever be happy with anyone else. It is not up to someone else to make you happy, that falls squarely on your own shoulders.

As many of us that were born in the 70's get older, we are finding that what we want isn't whats considered normal by our parents generation let alone by the younger generations. Many of us have turned away from modern medicine and began focusing on natural/holistic medicine. We have transitioned from fast food and store bought, to growing our own gardens again. We raise our kids with discipline, with standards and values. Many of the women from my generation have careers, children, spouses, homes, and still make time for a life of our own. Some of us gave up careers to be full-time moms, and some chose career over children. There is no right or wrong, just personal preference.

As my generation gets older, I personally have found that what others think, is really no business of mine. My household looks at life a whole lot different than most, and since we are all in agreement in our house, outside opinion doesn't matter to us. That's not to say that remarks made don't have an impact but it does tend to drive a wedge in those relationships.

As you continue to reflect, it's important for you to know - without a doubt, what you need. As this is a very brief description, you have to know wants/needs of your own heart. These wants and needs must cover ever area of your life...and be completely honest with yourself!!!

As we get closer to a new year, I encourage reflection. Not only will this give you a starting point for becoming a happier you, it gives you an opportunity to set achievable goals for the coming year...instead of resolutions that will be thrown by the roadside before the end of January.

Setting achievable goals is not only important in careers, but in life too. Setting goals, allows you something to work towards. Setting short-term, long-term goals helps you to not only work towards something, but to manage stress, manage finances, deal with relationship issues, and so much more. When you pair reflection with goal setting, you can move forward in your life a much happier and more grounded person. My next post will be on goals. Setting goals without reflection, to me, is like going skiing without the ski's.

I hope this post will help others, as my own experience with reflection, has allowed me to see life much clearer and to know exactly what I want out of life.

Until next time....
~Sal~