Good Morning! It's Friday morning, and while I am still a little anxious, it's a fresh new day to see where my path may lead. I try to force myself to start each day with a "fresh start" attitude. It does not always work, I'm not perfect, but I do try. The chaos we live in, sometimes hinders my ability to just let go of the weight of thoughts in my head.
I took time yesterday, to spend in nature. Several hours outside in the heat, sweating out the toxic imperfections and spending time in my garden. Typically, time in my garden is when I talk to God/Creator/Source, whatever term you use. I allow my thoughts to whip around where they will, and I release them out through my hands into the soil for God to handle. I spent extra time yesterday, loving up my chickens/ducks/goats/and outside dogs. I even ended up "playing" in the garden hose as the dogs thought it was fun to jump around while I was giving them some cold water. I went into the garden basically just to pick the ripe tomatoes I chose not to pick the day before. What I ended up with was half a 5 gallon bucket of picked vegetables, a wagon load of beets(half a row actually grew!), and spent 2 hours weeding and preparing the garden for a fall planting after my amazing husband offered to till up the areas that I cleaned out. I have spent years loving to garden, but this year I feel a calling to it and my critters. I find peace in the garden, in the duck pen, in the chicken coop, with the goats, and even the outside dogs. I find peace in mowing the grass, walking through my tiny orchard and my little grape vines. Yes, it's all a lot of hard manual labor, but I feel that I am actually accomplishing something. Even when things don't grow, I get upset, but then I set out to find information on how to do better next time. I have experimented with container planting, herb planting and strawberry plants again this year. While it seems to be more and consistent work, I have kept the containers alive this year and even have 14 strawberry plants(out of 75) that have survived. I spent the winter months learning how to do different things with my tomatoes, peppers, potatoes and sweet potatoes...so that I could harvest a better crop. I can tell you, at this point from experience, "what you reap is what you sow," is so true. The more effort you put into something, the better the results will be...for the most part. There are always contingencies, but typically, you will only get what you are willing to work for.
As someone who "feels" deeply, I find myself anxious from time to time. Sadly, I spent part of my life trying to please the people I held as important. The older I get, I still feel deeply, but I no longer depend on approval of anyone. I make decisions based on experience, choices available, and my instinct/intuition. I go with the theory that when things don't feel right, there is something wrong. Sometimes my intuition nags at me, or screams if I ignore it too long; until I recognize an issue and work to correct it. Sometimes, I just can't seem to figure out the "feeling" so I turn it over to God, and let him deal with it or ask for help in a way that I can recognize.
I have spent a lot time trying to find what it is that I "feel" is pulling me. I have spent about 8-10 years feeling a nagging of being pulled to do something and hadn't been able to figure it out. Writing is a great release for me, but there is only so much I care to "bitch" about. It grates on my nerves, so I can only imagine what others feel. I'm sure there will continue to be those blogs, but I want to help people. I want to help teach them to go back to their roots. Teach young people where their food comes from, how to raise animals, how to cook, how to preserve food, how to be self-sufficient. I know most young people, don't give a rats patoot about these things...but I really think this should be taught. I have been pushed to share recipes, by my kids, for meals that are homemade, from scratch, from the garden, or the butchered livestock, meals that are budget friendly. My kids have actually asked me to put together a cookbook for each one of them. You see, several years ago, my extended family did this. I have used this book so often the pages are actually falling out, and wearing thin. This may end up being a Christmas gift for them. Anyway, in my family cookbook...there were not only recipes, but preservation information, old family photos, stories of my Great-Grandparents, and so much valuable information..I wish I had about 5 more books to pass on and one to keep just for the stories and photos. You don't realize the value of your elders until you are older.
Today, I have lots of canning to do. I am happy to have that issue! I have potatoes to dig, onions to hang, and beans to dry for seed. I need to make some seed "tapes" for the fall garden, and finish inventoring the pantry and freezers. My house is wreak, I have laundry to do, I haven't dusted in probably 2 months, I have a duck kennel to clean, floors have dirt tracked across them, and aside from regular chores, I have neglected I will focus on what has to be done immediately. Something I think many forget, is that we are just one person, and there are only so many hours in the day. We live in a world of break-neck speed. Constantly racing from one thing to another, and we forget the small but important things. Taking the time to actually be present for the important people in our lives. Taking the time to spend with our loved ones. Accepting that our homes may not always be spotless, but took the time to laugh, dance, and enjoy moments.
For today, I'm taking the time to thank God, for a new, fresh day. Another day I opened my eyes and have the opportunity to do something good in this world. Today, I pray: "God, thank you! Thank you for every blessing in my life, and for every lesson. I pray you watch over my and I, our extended families, and our friends. Walk through their struggles with them and guide them. I ask you continue to keep us safe and healthy. Watch over our soldiers, and our country. Amen"
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