Hello August, you sure got here quickly! I've read this morning that August is National Coffee Month. Huh, no wonder people are talking about the craziness of a day or month for everything under the sun. We get an entire month for coffee? It's 365 for me! My blood type is coffee. I don't function well without it's caffeine pick-me-up.
I have so much to talk about all the time, but very few that actually want to hear it. That's ok. I am not capable of thinking in a box. I have always been a "why?" type of person. Telling me to do something, because "I said so," was a catalyst for me doing it my way. I don't do well being told I can't do something. I've found myself realizing each day new thoughts that make more sense to me as I have gotten older. I no longer need to argue to get my point across. I will state my opinion, and if/when others choose not to listen or hear what I have to say, I walk away. I am only one person, not everyone's beating post to use and throw away. I may not be a genius, but I hold a lot knowledge and do my best to be a good person. I help those I can help. Once I no longer feel appreciated, respected or feel as I have been used...I'm done. I walk away. I don't hate anyone, but sometimes it's best to walk away before I do.
For the first time this year, I decided to spend 5 minutes last night grounding. Walking or sitting with your bare feet in the grass is such a unique feeling. Where I sat, the grass felt like carpet under my feet. When you force your mind to slow down, and just breath...you can actually feel the stress leaving your body. My 5 minutes turned in to about 20. I truly loved the feeling of not living in fight or flight mode, even if just for a few minutes. You see, the past decade has been one of extreme chaos for me. So many ups and downs, that I lost focus. I lost sight of my own goals and direction. I began "feeling" differently. I have learned that when my intuition starts nudging me, I need to pay attention. I learned that my own beliefs, while different from most others, is not right or wrong...it's just different. I have had to learn to accept myself, flaws and all, all over again. I began the next cycle of my life, child rearing years to maturity. I've had to accept that actions speak way louder than words. I've learned that when I need to really pay attention to my thoughts, I pull into myself. I've learned that no matter how hard you try, you can't save the everyone...they have to make an effort too. I've learned who I want to be, and who I definitely do NOT want to be. I've learned that I love learning, love gardening, love experimenting, and being free to express my own truths even if others disagree or don't believe them. I've learned that being a mom, is not only the hardest job I've ever done, but also the most rewarding and the most precious gift ever. I've also learned that when my children are disrespected or hurt....I will come unhinged. I'm still learning how to blend a family, when they aren't all biological. I've learned that family isn't blood, that just makes you related. Family is those you love and who love you, unconditionally. I've learned that my love of learning, can take on a life of its own, if I let it. However, I have learned so much in just the last 3 years. You truly can only grasp the depth of realization of a decade of so much insight, if you've experienced it. It's been 10 years of what I can only describe as ascension. I have truly grown, as a person, so much.
As I have said a million times before, my mind moves at mach speed 95% of the time. You never know which thoughts will stick out, or when. I have channeled that energy into gardening, learning, and my family. I've struggled through many bumps in the road. I'm only human. I have made some rash decisions that have turned out ok, while others, not-so-much. I've made decisions that seem rash to some, but have weighed on me for more years than I can count. I actually reached out to a counselor friend for some guidance in several areas. Thankfully, she was gracious enough to explain a few things to me, and help me to find a means to release my own negative energy. I just have to remember them when I get really angry. 😏 I have spent a lot of my adult years writing in journals. That had helped me to keep some of the negative at bay. When that quit working, I needed another outlet. I had gotten so bogged down, that I had quit doing so many things that I enjoyed. I'm slowly, trying to refind those things. There are so many areas that can become toxic, and you don't even realize it until you are forced to see it, from the outside looking in. It's pretty incredible what you see when you back up, take away the expectations and negativity, and see an issue with a different set of eyes. Learning to be insightful and think logically is truly a blessing, and sometimes a curse.
Today is the start of a new month. A new time to be grateful for what we have. The world is in full chaos. The cluster of a shit show at the hands of many corrupt world "leaders." We've seen many prime ministers, presidents, and other government officials resign. We've seen the economies of many countries fall into shambles. We've seen an antique financial system start to crumble. If you've done any research, you know that the history as told to us all growing up, is nothing more than propaganda. We have seen the corruption in our own country stretch through all 3 branches of government, and into state and local levels too. We've found out that our elections, for at least the past 5 decades, have not mattered. Yet, we are all supposed to just get out and vote anyway. If you question the vote, you are considered a "conspiracy theorist." Which, by the way, was a term invented by the CIA to discourage anyone from questioning the Warren Report on the assassination of JFK.
I plan to spend a lot of time in my garden, with my critters, in my yard, and with my family. The heat has returned for a bit, and the pool is no longer usable, so...outdoor work will be in the early morning or late evening hours for awhile. There is lots of canning coming up. I recently shared several pictures of my canning of vegetable soup. It will be very good when the weather changes to cold! I still have beef stew, stew meat, sausage, potatoes, pasta sauce, pizza sauce, salsa, chicken, jalapenos, and banana peppers - to can. Zucchini, peppers and maybe some green beans to freeze. I have so many extra eggs, I will be making up several batches of noodles and freezing a few more for baking later. My chickens tend to stop laying about November, and pick back up around March. So, having eggs saved will get through the busiest egg using season - baking! We spend May through November planning for December through April. That's life on our farm. You have basically 26 weeks to hunt, gather, and build; to cover your butt for the other 26 weeks. A lot of our farm life revolves around the weather/weather predictions. When the forecasts start appearing for winter, we pay attention. Our area for this winter, is predicted to have above normal snowfall. So, from experience, that usually means not as bitter cold, but lots of precipitation - generally because, it doesn't usually snow when the temps drop into the negative numbers. However, other forecasts have stated that it could be another La Nina year for weather. This means the colder than normal water around the equator, brings in strong winds and colder than normal temps. So, we are doing a lot of preparing for the worst and praying for the best. It's getting extra hay if needed, making sure we have plenty of animal food on hand in the event of major snow/ice storms, having plenty of food on hand for our family, making sure there's plenty of straw for bedding to keep animals warm, it's working to get the house ready, wood cut, vehicles prepared, tractors and equipment ready, making repairs to sheds/coops/houses for the animals. In other words, it's a lot of preparation for who knows what is going to happen!
With our country in such a mess, I have become a broken record of plan, prepare, and stock up. I know everyone is sick of hearing it, and I'm sick of saying it! There is a phrase I have had to go to, "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink." We can't save the world, single handedly. People have to get off their duff and do something to help themselves. We can preach till the cows come home, and there are some that just won't hear it, no matter how much you preach. When you do your best to take care of yourself, and those you love...that's all you can do. There will some that listen, and that will be grateful for your words...but they are few and far between. Too many people allow their ego to get in their way. No matter how many facts or how much evidence you give them, they know it all, about everything. That's when you have to just bless and release them.
I believe I will end this chat for today and get busy. Folks, everyone is struggling with something in their lives. Be the type of person you want to see in the world. Share a smile, be kind to everyone you meet - the most difficult people, need your kindness the most, and be blessing to someone.
S.
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