Coffee Chat

 

So, let's chat! I'm not in a "plays well with others," type of mood, but I want to work through some thoughts. Most of the time, I don't get much feedback from my blog, a few good messages, a few nasty ones...but overall, just a lot of people "reading." I addressed it that way, because I have decided there are a lot of folks that have chosen to not read anymore. If it's not on social media or in video form, no one takes the time to read, let alone pay attention. That's ok...that is everyone's choice, but do NOT degrade or belittle those that do read and do pay attention! There seems to be a serious break down in communication, among all generations and all sexes. Having this issue within my own home, has made me more aware as I speak to others, that this is a major issue in a lot of areas. Most of us have become very desensitized through the years. A reference was made recently to how MTV used to be on the cusp of needing an adult rating, how nearly every movie created in the past 30 years has nudity/sex/violence in it and the creativity of anything new - not regurgitated material in the movie industry has basically disappeared. Having dug into so much the last 4 years, I have no respect for Disney, Hollywood or most musicians anymore. When so many are willingly selling their souls for stardom, they do not deserve any respect, let alone my hard earned money. I refuse to spend money to go to a theater, show or even purchase most music. I gave up watching tv after the debacle of actors at the Sandy Hook shooting. Before you give me crap for that, do your own research and do not regurgitate the "news." When folks are quick to denounce the violence in schools, yet refuse to address REAL issues...I have no respect or desire to hear the arguments. As I have said for years, You do you! I refuse to support anything that has come up in my research on the trafficked children, especially. That is a web and a rabbit hole that runs clear to the top of a lot of industry, the majority of politicians, and many world organizations. Yes, when it comes to children - YOU DO NOT HARM CHILDREN, PERIOD!!! None of this even touches on the lies Americans, in general, have been fed. I have a hard time with a lot of the nonsense that is all over everywhere anymore. Everyone has some "disease," everyone has some kind of mental illness, everyone keeps focusing on all sorts of distractions. The worst part of that is that those with true disease and true mental illness are swallowed by all the crap. Rather than being taught to use whatever illness or whatever stress/mental health issue as a means to do better...people are being taught to use it as a crutch. The logic I have heard, "I was told I would never amount to anything, so why bother trying." or "I have XYZ health issue so I can't do better or take responsibility for my own actions." They are both complete crap. Ok, so many of us grew up in less than ideal circumstances. Big deal. Shit happens. That's life. What are YOU doing to break the mold or break the cycle? You obviously want to stay in a victim mentality if you are not working daily to better yourself. I personally refuse to be a victim. Everything I have dealt with in my, is the reason I push myself so hard and expect those around me to do the same. It's the reason I have HIGH standards and those that don't make the cut....don't stay in my life. Yeah, many of us face health issues. Some we can fix, and some we can't. Guess what...that too is life. When you look at what you put into your body; processed foods, fast food, white sugar, snack cakes, etc. Your body is going to protest. Our bodies need food, but we have become so accustomed to abundance that we forgot the purpose of foods. We are meant to eat to live...not live to eat. Foods purpose is to nourish, care and repair our bodies...not to overindulge. Why do you think we have such an obesity issue in the world today. Not only are we addicted to crap food with no nutritional value, too much sugar which feeds cancer, not enough exercise, and too much binging; but we have become a society of complete mental weakness. When I see so many whiners, crying about being offended by WORDS...I wonder where the hell the kids in my generation went to. Am I the only one that remembers the saying, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?" Seriously, what the hell?! 

I was not any different than most, 5 years ago. I whined about so much. I was buying into the promoted theory that my life was a mess because "my parents caused the problem," or because I was a woman or insert any other nit wit theory. I bought into it. I've made my share of mistakes in the past 30 years...not my parents responsibility, my mistakes. I've made some really dumb choices, believed some warped minded people, and really played into the "my spouse doesn't understand me," drama. Here's a concept:  THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO!! We make no sense to the men in our lives, any more than they make sense to us! That is what girlfriends are for, that is what guy friends are for. You want to bitch about your hubby doing something stupid, join the club...but get a girlfriend. Your hubby could probably bitch about the dumb stuff you do too...but you want to know the kicker here....THEY DON'T!!! Usually! I will be the first to tell you, I get so mad at my husband for not paying attention to things I say, not noticing when I do my nails/hair/make up or even wear perfume...even when I don't leave the house, because I did it for him. I hate picking up dirty clothes all over the house, or having to constantly tell him and the kids to pick up their shit. Guess what!!!??? This all falls into this whole feminist movement. You wanted equal rights, you wanted to be equal on every level. Men do NOT think like women. We were not designed that way. Men and Women have their own unique qualities and strengths...and weaknesses. Men are naturally built to be the stronger ones. At least, originally. From the beginning of time, they were the "bread winners." They hunted, brought home the food. The women are the only ones that one up that. Women could cook that food, they could rear children, they tended to the home. That was never a derogatory statement. Men are usually not deep thinkers, at least not in the manner that women are. When women allow themselves to accept their own strengths without the nonsense of the current statuses...women understood that no man could be great unless he had a great woman beside him. Once again, this meant men and women alike, had to understand how they were created to complete each other. Do NOT give me any crap about the whole roles shit of today, that say you are "an island and don't need anyone." Bullshit!!! Each one of us need someone. As much as I complain about being capable on my own, and to a degree I am, it is not how society or mankind was meant to live. Men and women enhance each other. My husband could not do what I do, and I could not do what he does. The biggest problem I can see with a lot of people today, being in a committed relationship, requires opening yourself and your vulnerabilities up to someone else. Unless you can do that, you don't have a good relationship. This is why there is so much divorce, so much abuse, so much adultery. Sadly, there are a lot of men today that couldn't beat this shit out of their underwear, let alone go hunting/fishing for food.

I have had to make some pretty serious concessions. I have spent several years fighting against a battle of outside influence. I bought into a lot of the pity party games being portrayed in the public media/social media. I bought the hype of being a self made person, not needing a man/or anyone, and basically agreeing with the neutering of the male species because they were too male. So, now, we have a bunch of men that don't know if they have a dick or not. They wear their sisters jeans, cry at the slightest insult, have to race out for manicures and to have their body hair waxed. Real men are really hard to find anymore. Me personally, I am glad my husband doesn't cowtow to every single thing I say. I'm glad he will stand up to me when I start whining like an idiot. I'm glad he can hunt, fish, cook the best meals, stands by me even when I make stupid mistakes, and is a good dad. That's not to say that there are things I wish he was better at, like being romantic...but hey, I have plenty of short comings too. Do I need a man in my life, probably not...at least not in the sense of being capable. However, I do need that man in my life to offset my female personality. Just as he offsets me, I offset him. God knows there is not a perfect person on this Earth, but there is beauty in imperfections. I have said for years, I am drawn to those Wrangler butts! :D 

Now that I have pissed off all 97 genders, HA! Let's move on. I mentioned earlier about changing. I have mentioned this in blogs before, but I have had a lot of changes over the past 10 years. I take full responsibility for the mistakes I have made, the stupid decisions I have made, and for trusting the wrong people. Most of my changes, however, have superseded all of that. I am dealing with the post reproduction phase of my life. It has made me batty. The past couple of years has been the worst yet. This is something most women deal with, so I am no different. I can only explain from my own perspectives. At this phase, you start seeing your youth disappear. You are no longer your children's world...they now believe you are always wrong. Your children may be grown and beginning their adult lives...which make you crazier. You've spent the past 18 or so years being a Mom, and now, you have no idea what to do with yourself as you are no longer needed for everything. You now need to refocus on your changing relationship with your spouse. Anyone that says your marriage doesn't change when your children grow up, wasn't much of a parent. You and your spouse have to rediscover areas that have been neglected. In my case, I still one at home but teenagers know everything...so, I'm no longer needed constantly. Mennopause or Peri-Mennopause, make you feel like Dory off the kids show NEMO. Your mind is in a constant state of spaz, you are hot then cold, your moods are changing faster than that of the teenagers, you want to do things you always enjoyed but your body no longer cooperates, and trying to start friendships now - feels like trying to find a needle in a hay stack! In my case, most of the friends I've had are in different stages of this...some have grown kids and even grandkids now, some are still raising kids, some never had kids and really think you're nuts. Then you throw in aging parents, watching others our age start having major health issues, or so focused on careers or changing life styles that many of those relationships have not stayed intact. I, myself, have found it difficult to relate to a lot of people. I quit going out partying and drinking years ago. I threw myself into being a Mom, a wife, and a homemaker. I quit going out with friends after being left at a bar while a "friend" went to mess around with a guy(not her husband) at said bar. I quit going around people that only talked about their "health issues," or other people. I basically withdrew from almost everyone and everything. I was not able to find many people that could relate to anything that was of interest to me. During this stage of my life, some days I feel kind of like a squirrel in traffic....pretty chaotic. It's difficult to not have girlfriends around to visit with. I never do anything completely alone, so that is a bit of a challenge. I have never left my kids with a babysitter, although they have stayed with family at times. So,  getting even a day off or a break is non-existent. I've had a gift certificate for 2 years to a spa, and can't get the time away to use it. So, there's that.

The way this world is turning, scares the crap out of me. We have been lied to on so many levels, so much in our economy is propped up by fake money and fake numbers, and apparently it's now acceptable to change the definition of things when circumstances do follow the narrative.  By the numbers, we are already in depression era levels. However, current times claim we are not in a recession. Inflation, by government numbers claims 3% but by real numbers is closer to 25%. Food is up, animal feed is up, fuel and diesel are up, utilities are up, and incomes are down. It's become acceptable for the government to tell what kind of light bulbs to purchase, that you have to purchase insurances, and what medical care is acceptable. If you say something offensive, you are cancelled or censored. If you choose to ask the hard questions, you are labeled a conspiracy theorists or a nut case. When you bring up the Constitution, people lose their shit and tell you they don't need a history lesson - which proves they are wrong. People have become just like the Romans...give them bread and entertainment, and they won't see they are being robbed blind. Very sad. 

As I dive back into re-organizing my home today... I can't help but think how much easier life was 25 years ago. When the gene pool was more defined, there were still women that respected themselves and had class, when you didn't have to wonder what species the person beside you was, and if you worked for a living...you could actually get by. I pray that God steps in to fix this mess in our world.